Donald Trump creates rich African country to build Mexico wall

Donald Trump at the UN General Assembly

Donald Trump designs it, the Ghanaian builds it, Nambia pays for it. Genius!

The internet is going crazy about Donald Trump allegedly committing another gaffe. Speaking at the United Nation’s General Assembly, the president was heard referring to a seemingly nonexistent country called Nambia. According to him, the African country had the best healthcare system on the continent. And critics will not let us sleep.

First, a little perspective.

Donald Trump wants to make America great again. He spent a lot of airtime waxing lyrical of a certain wall he will build when he came into office. According to him, the Great Wall would be so lovely it would keep the rapists and drug dealers of Mexico from crossing into the once-great country. And he was going to make the Mexicans pay for it. Having won power though, he has found the Mexicans to be just the misfits he had imagined. They have refused to pay up so Donald Trump could make America great again.

But Donald is not one to give up so easily. Having failed to get the Mexicans to foot the bill, Donald turned his hungry gaze to Africa. Like an inter-galactic space adventurer, he realised how rich Africa was. Donald Trump’s friends have become rich just by coming to Africa. And so he knew if he was able to arrive somewhere before slavery was banned, he would be able to make some of that money for himself and still have enough to build the wall.

His only problem was which of the leaders would host him. On one side was Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe who didn’t look like he loved the idea of a white man setting foot on his land. He found also the Ghanaian president non-affectionate; President Nana Addo Dunkwa Akufo-Addo was dreaming of making Ghanaians own more of their economy. Nor did the President of UK hospitals, General Buhari, look at him with kind eyes. If there is one thing Donald Trump hated more than Mexico, it was the Chinese. And if there was another thing he hated more, it was serving in the army. This is a man who dodged service due to a sore foot! And so something about Nigeria’s president’s past didn’t work for him.

And because Donald Trump has the best ideas, he resorted to the old trick that gave Africa its many states: Donald Trump invented a country called Nambia. Let’s face it, Angola and Zambia didn’t exist before some men with more guns than Africa had spears sat in Germany and created them. Taking a long, cold piss on the African map in Berlin, the old colonialists carved for themselves what territories they liked least and offered them to their enemies. Donald Trump, read Drumpf, has roots in that country. It is not fake news!

Now the raucous about health system bit.

“Donald Trump wants to repeal Obamacare.” This headline has been reported many times by reporters of the Fake News and anchors on Clinton News Network, CNN. It has been his dream, along with raising the wall, of course, to create a health policy that would erase the ineffective, unsustainable Obamacare. It is just one step in a fleet of stairs that rises to the top of things, a space where Obama’s legacy is only remembered by Kenyans. Donald Trump therefore invented a country and gave it the best healthcare system.

By inventing a new country in Africa, Donald Trump has given himself permission to visit Africa and earn some of its riches, much like his friends have done before. With a cute healthcare system, he is finally able to show the world that he is capable of creating a healthcare system better than what the black man from Kenya did. And who would he choose to build that wall? Who else if not someone who was from Africa, knew all about hospitals, and knew how to build walls?

Professor Frimpong Boateng!

A popular heart surgeon, the professor recently made a case for himself when he sat before the Appointment Committee of Ghana’s Parliament. He was being vetted to take up the post of Minister of Environment, Science and Technology after his nomination by President Nana Addo Dankwa Akuffo-Addo. Making a case for himself, the veteran surgeon declared his suitability for the job at hand, saying, “I am noted for building walls on lands.”

It turns out that Professor Frimpong Boatend has spent some of his learning years in Germany. Serendipity? Nah!

And these are the facts:

Donald Trump knows Africa has a lot of money.

Donald Trump needs money to build the Mexico wall and also replace Obamacare.

Donald Trump creates an African nation with a good healthcare system.

There is a doctor who knows how to build walls.

He has lived and learned about ‘doctoring’ in Germany.

Donald Trump likes him.

He appoints him, and now he has money, will build a wall, and Donald Trump will replace Obamacare, BIGLY!

Let’s admit it, Donald Trump is a genius. Like has been said in mock reference to him on several fake news outlets, “Donald Trump has the best ideas.” And if the professor failed? Well, there is one thing the world agrees on Donald Trump: he is good at firing people.

The North Koreans better beware!

#satire

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