A Hobbit Takes Over Wakanda!

This piece is best read in T’Challa’s voice. Failing that, read it in Shuri’s. Failing that, you are not qualified to read it. This is very important.

Also, this has spoilers!

Now, let us start from the beginning. Let us start with the question: Why do you think they created the first Black Panther movie? It was definitely not to celebrate Africa. The Africa we know does not exist in Korea and Atlanta and America. No! What they did…First, I have to tell you that there is no animal called Black Panther. It does not exist. We might have black leopards, yes. Black jaguars too, but never black panthers. You see, my people, the very foundation of our celebration of Hollywood cinematic sympathy is a flawed sense of representation. Now, back to the movie with a fake animal in its title.

What they have done in that film is to give you the impression that the Africans only fight, fight, and fight the more. If they want power, they fight. Even married people, Okoye and that one from Get Out, they are opposites. And so by showing you all these things, they prepare your mind for the inevitable: the CIA taking over Wakanda.

How do I know this?

The colonizers at the CIA knew about alien activities. What do you think they have been doing on Mars, ehn? Open your eyes very well. They knew some Q Ship was coming. They knew a Pink (Is it pink?) Monster was coming to earth, and instead of remaining in America like they do in all other superhero movies, they decided to come to Wakanda. My people, the irony is so clear I am impressed. When they could not invade the Unbowed Kingdom, they let an alien bring the fight to Wakanda. They did this under the disguise of proving just how smart Shuri was. Pftftf, like who did not know that already. Like who does not know any girl child in Africa is smarter than a Green Monster?

But before that, they had to kill Erik Killmonger. You know what Erik would have done, right? Erik would have given Africa’s greatest resource to Africans. His philosophy, fuck the angry part, would have meant that all black people would be weaponized…ahem…strategically imbued with advanced form of resource based on Vibranium. And do you think that the Pink Monster would have been able to defeat a whole continent of black people without his gems?

Talking about gems; who gave him the stones? Whom did he send to retrieve them? They certainly were not black people.

And so the CIA allowed Erik to be killed because a Black Erik Panther would have protected the world and Wakanda against the Pink Monster. But they let Erik die. And now they have killed the Orphan-King too.

So now tell me this: who is going to rule Wakanda? Do not even mention M’Baku. I do not trust that one. No, it will not be Shuri. They intentionally put her out of the picture. The simple answer to the question is: Agent Everett Ross. Know this: Everett is codename for Everest, to pretend the Hobbit is taller than he actually is.

Note this: Martin Freeman has already told us he will star in future Marvel Movies. To do what exactly? And why was he not in the Infinity War so that he could die with the others? Simple: his only motive for coming to Wakanda was to kill Erik, the real leader who would have been a threat to the CIA.

This one is a format! It is clearly a ploy of cheap cunning. It is absent fairness and full of bullshit. The agency of colonization is in overdrive, and its machinery must be halted with haste and single-mindedness. Stand firm, my people. “Hibambe!”

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